He is definitely a vanilla guy in bed, always gentle. Maybe that's why I am so obsessed with the idea of getting some serious spanking. So far, it still remains a fantasy. I have tried out everything I can come up with to try to persuade him spanking me. He is just NOT INTO it! What's more, there is one time he did try spanking me, but after only a couple of slaps he complained that his hand hurt, didn't want to go on. I begged for more, out of anger he punched me with his fist instead.

Punching is definitely nothing like spanking. I can feel my butt muscle swollen the next day. Should I give up already?

It is always very difficult to convince a
partner/spouse to do things that they are not
comfortable with. Yes sometimes they will find that
they can get into it and it will become very enjoyable
to both people. But when you see that they are turned
off or even become angry at your request, the only
thing that you can do is just say, "ok honey! It was
something that I thought about and wanted to try."

I would never suggest that you go outside your
marriage to find pleasure. I would not, only because
that is a decision that only you can make. And how
secure you are in your marriage dictates the measures
that you want to go to to receive your pleasure.

Your saying that he punched you in anger says a lot
about his feelings on spanking you. And maybe his
anger was with the thought that if this was something
that you truly wanted or needed that you would find
it someplace else. You have to convince him that it
does not mean that you will be unfaithful to find it.

But you may also want to have a talk with him to let
him know that these are feelings that you have been
having. Maybe he does not have to use his hand if it
hurts him. find other things that he can use that will
not cause you too much pain or damage.

You can also make it a scene. Tell him that you wish
to role play. he can be whomever he wishes and you can
be someone that he is punishing. But beware that it
does not go too far and he begins to really get into
the thought of punishing you.

I'm sorry to say, you can not make your husband spank
you. Either he will on his own accord or he won't. And
to do something to make him angry enough to strike you
isn't what you are looking for. Maybe renting a movie
about spanking and discipline would work.

Find out what types of fantasies he has. Maybe if you
were to indulge him in fulfilling his fantasies, he
will be more willing to indulge you in fulfilling
yours. It is very important that you allow him to keep
his "manhood" intact. That you do not allow him to
think that he is any less capable of satisfying you.

I have to ask the question. Have you talked with him
before hand and found out what he feels about
spanking? Maybe there are things in his pass that will
not allow him to become involved with the act itself.
You may see it as a form of sexual play. He may see it
in a very different light. And how he sees it is even
more important that your desire for it.

If all else fails, and you are ok with it, try to find
a spanking partner. Someone that would be willing to
give you just the spanking and not want or need sexual
satisfaction in return. That is unless you wish for
the spanking to lead to more. Maybe even finding a
woman to spank you if you feel that you do not trust a
man to do it.

I do hope that I have made some sense of thing. I
would be very interested to know how things turn out.

Spanker Sam

Don't push too hard. If he don't wanna you may have to respect that. Some guys can't.

Sam, Jenni and Cherry, thank you all so much for your suggestions. I have tried whispering into his ear when we are in bed that spanking won't hurt me and I do WANT it and it turns me on and I will enjoy it; I have tried sending him some info about erotic spanking through email to let him know that there're are lots of other women who have the same need as I do and HIS WIFE is not insane or weird; I have tried making deals with him that if I do some favour for him (bring him some drink or mail a letter for him), he should reward me by doing whatever I want him to do in bed later that night; I have tried asking him about what his sexual fantasy is, what turns him on most.

I got nothing.

 

Have you tried buying a leather paddle and asking him to use it on you instead of his hand...let him warm it up real slow...

Jenn

Barefoot up to my neck...and loving it!

Jenn

Well Honey If you tried everything, then you may do what other
people have done in your situation, Put a ad in a spanking magazine and make sure you add SPANKING ONLY, No Sex. And then open up a postal mailbox in the post office so the spanking mail will not have to come to your house. When someone answers your ad, make sure you meet him  in a public place, See if the chemistry is right. Go over certain rules and safe words. Listen Even if he is the Top and You are the bottom you are the one who still calls the shots. It is Your body so if something does not feel right just simply walk away and say Thanx for the meeting.
You are probably going to meet a few knuckle heads but I notice their are very few in the spanking scene. I wish you lived in NYC I would love to role-play with you and spank you for being such a naughty young lady. LOLOLOL!!!                                              

Sincerely,
Eric,
P.S. Also try taking him to spank clubs (if you have them) so he can see other woman & men being spanked. He will probably enjoy it more if he sees more people participating in the scene.

 

Heck, just being a man, I would suspect a more direct attack.
Receipt One spanking = one blowjob, complete.

True, you may need to instruct him in the spanking, how to ect, ect, but make it a fair trade, he does his best at spanking the way you like, you do your best at the BJ the way he likes ..win win situation.

 

Geeo